ReWritten
by Iridescent Swan
Summary: Over and over and over again, Vaughn is being written. He is getting tired of it. Written for The Village Square's Secret Santa 2012 for...The Altrox!


REWRITTEN

Over and over and over again, Vaughn is being written. He is getting tired of it. Written for The Village Square's Secret Santa 2012!

**AN I find it both extremely ironic and funny how my wishlist is kinda like the opposite of the wishlist of the person I got for this year's Secret Santa in the Village Square Forum. Anyways, written for the Altrox! :)**

**Disclaimer: The game isn't mine. This is my first FF Secret Santa gift, though. And first SI fanfic :O Forgive me if anyone in here is OOC.**

REWRITTEN

Vaughn was bathed in warm, bright light and he heard the gentle waves roll and _slosh_ behind him.

"Vaughn-y!"

_Oh no..._

"Get away from me!" he yelled.

Too late. She was pinching his cheeks like there was no tomorrow again.

"Aww, why not? That was a long one! Didn't you miss me?"

He opened his mouth to just straight-off say "no", but he immediately shut it again. He wasn't sure yet whether the welcoming committee was worse than what he had just gone through. His thoughts, however, were interrupted when another voice piped in.

"Hey Vaughn!"

Vaughn scowled. "What are you girnning for, Elliot?"

The peach-haired boy gave a sympathetic smile. "Had a long one, didn't you?"

"A whopping 60 chapters!" chirped the girl. "Well actually it was just around 35, but hey no one's gone above 28 chapters with Vaughn-y before!"

"And they'd do _beep_ well if they don't do that again," Vaughn snapped. "Hold on. _Beep._"

"Oh right! That's our beep-inator!" The girl. who had long green hair tied in two braids, threw her hands up in the air.

"Yeah...we had front-row seats to quite a colorful monologue from you last time," said a new voice.

"What the _beep_ing _beep_ are you talking about, Denny? And would this _beep_ing beep-inator cut the _beep_ out?"

Denny threw back his head and laughed. "You went on a swear-a-palooza that traumatized baby Edge right here." He gestured to a tiny Harvest Sprite that was sitting on his shoulder. "He wouldn't stop crying for hours!"

"Where's your, uh, bird, by the way?" Vaughn asked.

"It's mating season! He's a lady's man just like his buddy right here," Denny jokingly said.

"Anyway, well I was just re-written in a story 100 000 words long, and merely 10 seconds after I stepped here on Paradise Isle to get a break from being used up as one of the main characters in a story, her high high highness, the Harvest Goddess right over here, announced that I'm gonna be re-written _again_?"

"By the way, if for some reason we are being written right at this very moment, Paradise Isle was where characters hung out during the times when they are not being used up as main characters in a story," the Harvest Goddess said. "Just so readers can know!"

_Ding ding dong_.

Vaughn paled. "No."

"Sorry Vaughn," said Elliot. He was now starting to climb up a palm tree with a string of little lights in his hand.

"I'm missing the Christmas party again?" Vaughn groaned as the Harvest Goddess worked with some blue colored sprites to summon a cool wind that brought thousands of tiny snowflakes across the island.

"Tough luck, man," added Denny. "But hey, at least you get all the girls and the attention!"

"I've had enough of attention from girls to last me a million batteries' worth of lifetimes, especially if I'm being written to live the same _beep_ing things each and every single—"

"Time to go, Vaughn-y!"

The Harvest Goddess pinched his cheek one last time and he started _de-pixelating_. As his left cheek started to lose pixels that flew up to the never-ending dark void of a sky, Vaughn started yelling.

"Beep beep beep beep beep beep—"

"Ow, my ear! Vaughn, cut it out!"

"Beep beep beep bee—bee—bee—"

_BOOM._

By then, the silver-haired cowboy had already completely de-pixelated.

"Well...so much for the beep-inator," commented Denny, breaking the silence.

"_You douchebag, take that back!"_

"_Or what?" I retort. A thought brought about by an anger-inducing hormone says, "annoying little..."_

"_I'll...I'll! Whatever!" she yells._

_I snort. "Couldn't even think of a good comeback. How am I supposed to find you threatening?"_

_Meanwhile, a thought brought by a lust-inducing hormone says, "she looks cute when she's mad."_

"_Ugh! You a-hole!"_

_Another thought brought by a lust-inducing hormone says, "you love the attention."_

_A thought brought about by a denial-inducing hormone says, "you hate the attention."_

_I end up with her after 3 seasons of more bickering later._

"How was it, Vaughn?" Denny asked him.

"Yeah well, I hated her. And she hated me."

Denny laughed. "Anything new this time? I'm pretty sure the story you've just been written in contained 10 chapters of denial. Again."

"Julia actually threw something to 'get me to see sense' this time."

At the name "Julia", Elliot's ears perked up. "What did she throw? And were you cousins again?"

"Yep," Vaughn replied. "Your girlfriend, unfortunately, was my cousin again. I don't get it really, do you see any resemblance? It's not even in my description! Or hers!"

"To get rid of all possibilities of you and her doing 'stuff' during the two nights you stay there, duh!" Denny teased.

Vaughn wrinkled his nose and Elliot awkwardly looked away.

_Ding ding dong_.

"And once more, fate mercilessly tosses me upon the waves of the unknown," Vaughn comments. "And I can do nothing about it."

"Well that was deep," Elliot said, after Vaughn de-pixelated.

_I feel a snowball hit the back of my head along with a suppressed giggle._

"_Oh no you didn't..."_

_Chelsea runs across the meadow and I ball up a bunch of snow to throw at her. My first snowball knocks off her red bandana. Is my aim really that bad that I always end up knocking it off instead of just hitting the back of her head?_

_She squeals and says, "hey! No fair!"_

_We keep on throwing snowballs at each other the next few minutes. In the end, we collapse on our backs, laughing. With tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, I look up at Chelsea._

_Well the look she's giving me must be expected. I snort when I laugh, hence I hate laughing. But well, she still finds it cute._

_It obviously won't be long 'till I get her that blue feather, of course._

"_Hello Vaughn!" a brown-haired farmer chirped. "I have something for you!"_

_I purse my lips together. Tightly._

"_You...brought...me...a carrot."_

"_Yup!" Chelsea chirps. "Isn't it a cute little thing? Healthy too!"_

_It is taking me everything to not blow up. But I really want to. Not because of the carrot, though._

"_You brought me a carrot."_

_My lips purse, by themselves, even tighter._

_Chelsea frowns. "Are you alright Vaughn?"_

_I probably look constipated right now. "Give me that."_

_She hands me the carrot and I take it from her. I then walk towards the nearest shipping bin. "There. Throwing the despicable thing into that won't make such a waste."_

_I walk away from a disappointed, but not discouraged, Chelsea who has the spirit of a thousand bubbles that refuse to pop._

_I don't know why I hate carrots. No actually, I don't know why I have to hate carrots. Can't I have some weird, sick secret fetish for the small, orange fetish-able things? Ah well. Gives me some output for frustration._

_She'll discover my weakness for porridge a day later via Julia, of course. And I will fall in love with her...porridge._

"I am disappointed, Vaughn."

"What?" Vaughn said.

"Throwing away someone's gift in front of them?" the Harvest Goddess cried.

"Not to mention Chelsea," Denny said. "Tsk tsk."

"Hey, that wasn't my fault—"

_Ding ding dong._

"Off with you!" was the last thing Vaughn heard from any of them.

_The brunette, overwhelmed by the beauty of the beautiful island and awed as the sun dramatically rises from the West instead of the East, trips because she did not see a rope that tied the ship to the docks._

_Here we go again..._

"_Ah!"_

_My hand magically grabs her waist and her hair flows through the air like a monochromatic rainbow and aromatically sends the smell of sea salt dispersing through my nose, sending signals to my brain that, for some weird reason, scream "it smells good! Send hormones through his body!". My stomach jumps of its own accord and I blush, but she does not see it. Well duh, how can she if her butt is facing me and not her face? By the way, as much as I'd hate to admit it, that is one cute butt._

"_I-I'm sorry!"_

_She stammers. Of course she does, she's supposed to find me mystifyingly captivating and I am supposed to find her mystifyingly captivating as well—only I realize that after 20 chapters of me pretending to hate her, her crying to Julia and Julia bullying me to succumb to my innermost primate desires._

_Not._

"I hate this life."

_Ding ding dong._

_I dramatically crash through the large dramatic wooden doors and it dramatically sends a sound that echoes dramatically through the Church._

_All of the villagers dramatically turn and look at me at the exact same time. As usual, I decide to ignore them all._

_The man she's about to marry this time is Denny. His "clone" at least, since Denny's probably having the time of his life in Paradise Isle... (Last time it was Will. It's usually one of these two...)_

_Anyways, the light courses through the colorful glass windows and illuminates the altar. This emphasizes Chelsea's white gown, supposedly symbolizing innocence and purity. Well she's not exactly innocent anymore since we just had this intimate scene (at the cliché venue: the beach) about 4 chapters ago. A chapter after that, we have this huge fight and she runs to Denny._

"_Vaughn..." Chelsea says, unsure of what to say._

_Denny, being that good, kind-hearted friend (meaning the guy who always gets best-friendzoned) lets her go. I run toward her and she meets me halfway wherein we have this passionate kiss and I bring her out the church._

"When will this end?" screamed Vaughn. He threw his hat down the ground.

"Vaughn, chill!"

_Ding ding dong._

"See? Five frickin seconds... I GIVE UP!"

"_Why are you so dang cheerful?" I growl at her. _

_She grins at me. "Because you're here again!"_

_I scowl. "Yeah, okay."_

_She is still grinning at me._

"_Don't you have animals to, er, feed?"_

"_You mean crops?" she says._

_Feed crops? This girl is off her rockers. She's been giving me porridge ever since the day she stepped on the island. I am not bothered by that. What bothers me is her presence. Specifically her behavior. Like just before now._

"_Okay, Imma go now..." I say. Freaky._

"_No you're not!" she says. She grabs hold of my arm and wow she is strong. Is she wearing iron gloves or something?_

_Her face is 5 inches away from mine and her eyes and her grin look bigger and creepier than ever._

"_All your other friends," she start. "They call me crazy. They just don't get us. We're special, baby."_

"_What the—"_

"_Hush!" she presses a finger to my lips. "I'll make sure soon I'll be your wife. You'll be my kids' dad. You'll be my kids' dad. YOU'LL BE MY KIDS' DAD."_

"_Holy sheep get away from me!"_

_I pull my hat down my face. For the 7__th__ time. At this rate, it is covering not only my hot, gorgoeus amethyst eyes but also my hot, gorgeous nose and pretty much the rest of my hot, gorgeous face which is now as red as a hot tomato. _

_As much as I love my hat, I don't really like anything entirely obscuring my face because then I'd look like a retard. So to the (Author's and) farmer's dismay, I turn my back on her and walk away._

_I have enough pixel power to take the hat off my face, but not enough to run away._

"I can't take it anymore!"

"I'm sorry, dearie," the Sephia replied. Her high high Goddess and Vaughn were actually on a first-name basis now. She actually looked sorry.

"I am so tired that I think I'll actually start living up to the color of my hair soon."

"Exactly! You should change your perspective and start thinking posi—"

"It's the same thing over and over again! I hate Chelsea, Chelsea hates me, we end up together. I love Chelsea, Chelsea loves me, we end up together. I hate, well, carrots, Chelsea loves me, we end up together!"

"Yes, I know—"

"Or, she trips as she goes down the ship, and I catch her. She's about to get married to someone else because she's given up on me, but I stop the wedding. I am a person-repeller but she's so bubbly and bright that she can't smell my odor of hate! Sometimes to the point of it being unnatural!"

"Aww, Vaughn, I—"

"I'm antisocial! I'm a jerk! I'm a _beep_! I'm—hey, you fixed the beep-inator. Anyways, there, can't I be random? Can't I be autistic, instead of love-scarred, hence I hate talking to people? Can't I have this sickness wherein sunrays can actually kill me, hence I wear black and covered from head to toe? I mean who the dung wears black during summer? And for the hat, couldn't the sun just have illuminated her hair and I pulled down my hat because it hurt my eyes? Or I maybe I could be this guy that's hinding some scar of my forehead and I'm scared people would recognize me so I pull down my hat when someone goes too close for comfort?"

Vaughn exhaled. Sephia smiled in sympathy. Vaughn continued, "can't I just frickin fall in love with like a goat or a cow or something, scare Chelsea off and live happily ever after just for the _sake_ of something new?"

_Ding ding dong._

Vaughn sighed. "Guess that's your cue, then?"

"Yes, yes it is," Sephia said. "But look at it this way, Vaughn. You might not be able to choose what the new story will be about. But hey, each new story is exactly that. It's _new_. You never really know what could happen until you open it and see for yourself. Just...think positive. Enjoy what you have and make the most of it."

Vaughn considered the thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Sephia grinned. "Well, off to business then, shall we?"

Vaughn nodded. As he started slowly de-pixelating, Sephia cried, "have a Merry Christmas Vaughn!"

_There is a warm, dim fireplace to my right._

_I am sitting in this large, plush red couch. A chilly breeze blows by and I realize it is snowing outside. _

"_Hey," a voice whispers behind my ear._

_I feel goosebumps, the good kind, all over my body. I know that voice._

"_Hey," I whisper softly. Sabrina wraps her arms around my neck and sits on the arm of the couch. She gazes into the gentle flames dancing lightly on wood._

_I study her for a moment. She doesn't have her eyeglasses on, but she still has her distinguishing pink ribbon in her hair. She is wrapped in a pink sweater and a long, purple silk nightgown which clung onto her and perfectly accentuated her eyes, skin and well...everything._

_I run my fingers through her long, silky black hair and for some reason, it feels so...right. Not required or mechanical like in the past stories with Chelsea._

_Suddenly, she shivers and I notice that she is wearing a ring that is identical to the one I am wearing._

"_It's unusually cold tonight," she comments. _

_My heart beats fast and for the first time, I feel curious. I also feel this strange urge to tear off that ribbon on her hair, gently of course, so I could run my fingers through the rest of her, the rest of her hair—no, the rest of her. Perhaps maybe I could also slip off that pink sweater... I mean, this black jacket is big, we could share it._

_Oh who am I kidding? I finally reply, "why don't I help you with that?"_

**DISCLAIMER 2.0: For Velsea fans: I mean no hate! :( I am a Velsea fan myself (how else would I be familiar with those ****cute**** familiar situations?) and a Vaughn fangirl (my jaw literally dropped the first time I saw him *drools*). But well seriously, sometimes we just really need something new xD**

**To the Altrox: **

**Your wishlist and my research said you wanted: Vaughn "parodized", making fun of clichés, not completely first-person POV, naughty over nice and a bit of character development. ****Well...I tried xD I'm not good at naughty. What do you think? Love it, hate it, flame it or throw it in the shipping bin; either way, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! Belated Happy Birthday as well!**

**Same goes to you, dear reader ;)**

**~Iris**


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